So, Super-Dependable Teen and I took in Cloverfield yesterday. And I want desperately to blog about it, but not to spoil it for anyone else, so I'm going to blog it, and I'm going to make sure there is nothing I'd consider a 'spoiler' when I'm done. So, here goes...
First off, as you'd know form the previews, teasers, and trailers, it's a monster movie. Secondly, and as noted firstly, it's shot 'Blair Witch' style, IE, 'real' people film the movie 'accidentally' on their minicam. A disclaimer: I've never seen Blair Witch. The concept held, and continues to hold, absolutely no interest for me whatsoever. I don't believe in ghosts, even less in witches, and could care less about a movie about a ghost of a witch that was filmed for less than $30k. Bunnyman's alluded movie about baloney vampires shot in a laundry hamper by 8-year-olds sounds positively enthralling beside it. So, other than knowing from the trailers that it was shot in similar fashion, there are no other comparisons to it that I can or would want to make.
Let me just say up front that yes, there are several plot holes, of such depth and breadth that Super-Dependable Teen and I saw fit to point them out and comment on them to each other, and that they served well to let me once again confidently say that Hollywood still knows shit-all about science-fiction as a genre, and this depresses me to no end.
But in spite of those problems, I think the movie was well-done for a monster movie, extremely well-done for a BW-style cinematography, and definitely worthy of seeing in theatre. It has good special effects that will suffer badly on the small screen, so see it as large as you can.
We both found ourselves wincing and urging the lead characters to safety as peril after peril imperiled them time and again. To me that means they kept the action moving almost fast enough to gloss over the plot holes, but the tires still dipped, and the lurch when they hit the far rim of the hole remianed a jarring impact each time. I shall now decide whether or not said holes constitute spoilers if discussed... ... ...
Plot Holes One and Two (not in order with other plot holes):
OK, in vaguest possible terms: one of the characters is impaled through the chest (and from the angle, almost certainly through the upper lobe of their left lung) on a piece of exposed re-rod* (eh, industry term, it's the metal bars they put inside concrete to strengthen it, a reinforcement rod, aka re-rod). Said character is 'rescued' by lifting them off the re-rod (which would of course cause all sorts of internal damage, unplug the hole from original impact, and kill them rapidly) and not only is no worse for wear from the ordeal, but is in fact seen sprinting away from danger in the next scene. I uneasily muttered 'adrenalin?', and tried hard not to think about it any more, but... arrrgh, I hate Hollywood. Do some sci-fi right you bastards!!
* Editor's Note: I am assured by Superwife and Bunnyman that re-rod is in fact known as no such thing, and is actually called rebar. Shrug. I've heard it called re-rod, but also heard rebar. Maybe both are valid, maybe not. So, anyway, impaled by rebar, running around fine a minute later.
Plot Hole Three:
I don't know what brand of camera was being used, but I want one. They're absolutely indestructible. And have a battery that never fails, even when you run the light. And the tapes run a good 90 minutes or more. Yeah, I'll take two in fact, don't even wrap 'em. I can't tell you what sorts of things this camera went through unscathed, but believe me, short of its own stasis field, I can't see how it remained functional.
Plot Holes Four and Five:
This one is dangerously close to a spoiler. Be warned. I'm going to change the color to match the background, so select this area to read it, just in case. This way, if it is a spoiler, it's your own fault for reading it.
One of the characters is bitten/slashed/gouged savagely by a lesser monster. This character does not go into shock, despite some impressive blood loss. The lesser monster and its buddies, whom the army has been hard-pressed to deal with with M-16 A1s and M-60s, are rather handily beaten off and back and away by four humans usings fists, feet, and a steel pipe.
Ok, that's about all. So, as usual, badly flawed, but, if you can shut down your higher analytical functions for 90 minutes, an altogether creepy romp.
Oh, and when you think the story is over, and you're just watching what didn't get taped over by the interesting parts, keep watching anyway. Especially the right side of the screen, far off in the background.
Monday, January 21, 2008
Saturday, January 12, 2008
On the Road Again
Hopefully, this is the last time for a long time.
Once again, two guys with a truck showed up at my place, loaded almost all of my heavy-ass shit (scratch that, they loaded ALL of my heavy-ass shit, all I did was some of the lighter stuff) into said truck, and carted it to my new address. 2.2 miles away. Their bosses charged me $300 for the service (which is deductible), and I tipped those gentlemen $20 each, and gave one of them my old entertainment center, as the laws of physics decreed that it could not, save by exertions of the Uncertainty Principle, be made to occupy my new home. A trip to Walmart yielded the last one in the store, which waits in my trunk for me to summon the strength to hoist it out and into my apartment. I even got a bargain on it, maybe.
Did I mention that I moved from one third-floor apartment to another third-floor apartment? And after swearing I'd never do it again. Eh, shows what my word is worth. Bunnyman and Superwife, and the older two Superkids have been helpful also. In fact it was Superwife who recommended my movers, and they showed up on time, did the job on schedule, and basically rocked in hearts and spades. Thanks again, Superwife.
Later--
Ok, was beaten savagely away from the Castle Anthrax mainframe in the middle of typing this by Bunnyman, but he's on the Wii now, so I'm safe.
We just got back from the Come Back Inn, an Italian eatery with a decidedly unexpected name. The Pasta Gorgonzola was, dare I say it (Oh dare, dare!!), magnifico. I'd never had it before, and wasn't sure what to expect, beyond gorgonzola likely being a 'strong cheese, given a name like that'. Fortuitously, I likes the strong cheese. Basically, it's Chicken Alfredo, but Alfredo met the gaze of Medusa, and turned to stone. And that's likely because there were no broccoli bushes for poor Al to hide behind. And that's good eatin'! Bunnyman had a roast beast sammich on ciabatta bread, which he requested special, and which turned out, apparently, to be a mistake, because he thought the ciabatta sucked. Superwife got a more traditional dish, meatballs and marinara, and it smelled divine, and I already knew the marinara was good from the breadsticks we had earlier. So we got that going for us, which is nice.
Anyhow, I got one (count them) trip left up my new stairs tonight, and I'm making it count. Several strapped satchels shall be strapped to my strapping form, and bootstrapped up the stairs so I can strap myself into the intrawebs at some point tomorrow.
But I ain't looking forward to that trip.
Once again, two guys with a truck showed up at my place, loaded almost all of my heavy-ass shit (scratch that, they loaded ALL of my heavy-ass shit, all I did was some of the lighter stuff) into said truck, and carted it to my new address. 2.2 miles away. Their bosses charged me $300 for the service (which is deductible), and I tipped those gentlemen $20 each, and gave one of them my old entertainment center, as the laws of physics decreed that it could not, save by exertions of the Uncertainty Principle, be made to occupy my new home. A trip to Walmart yielded the last one in the store, which waits in my trunk for me to summon the strength to hoist it out and into my apartment. I even got a bargain on it, maybe.
Did I mention that I moved from one third-floor apartment to another third-floor apartment? And after swearing I'd never do it again. Eh, shows what my word is worth. Bunnyman and Superwife, and the older two Superkids have been helpful also. In fact it was Superwife who recommended my movers, and they showed up on time, did the job on schedule, and basically rocked in hearts and spades. Thanks again, Superwife.
Later--
Ok, was beaten savagely away from the Castle Anthrax mainframe in the middle of typing this by Bunnyman, but he's on the Wii now, so I'm safe.
We just got back from the Come Back Inn, an Italian eatery with a decidedly unexpected name. The Pasta Gorgonzola was, dare I say it (Oh dare, dare!!), magnifico. I'd never had it before, and wasn't sure what to expect, beyond gorgonzola likely being a 'strong cheese, given a name like that'. Fortuitously, I likes the strong cheese. Basically, it's Chicken Alfredo, but Alfredo met the gaze of Medusa, and turned to stone. And that's likely because there were no broccoli bushes for poor Al to hide behind. And that's good eatin'! Bunnyman had a roast beast sammich on ciabatta bread, which he requested special, and which turned out, apparently, to be a mistake, because he thought the ciabatta sucked. Superwife got a more traditional dish, meatballs and marinara, and it smelled divine, and I already knew the marinara was good from the breadsticks we had earlier. So we got that going for us, which is nice.
Anyhow, I got one (count them) trip left up my new stairs tonight, and I'm making it count. Several strapped satchels shall be strapped to my strapping form, and bootstrapped up the stairs so I can strap myself into the intrawebs at some point tomorrow.
But I ain't looking forward to that trip.
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Swag! Booty!! Avast, ye scurvy scalywags, go get yer own!!
Yarrrr!! Twas a proper chest o' dubloons I staggered home under the burden of!! Well, dubloons well-spent at any rate, on the likes of some fine booty indeed. A list o' sweet swag follows:
- A World of Warcraft Raid calendar
- A 'Best of' Stray Cats CD
- A Tenth Edition booster of magic, the gold from which was Mirri, green 2/3 forestwalking legendary vigilant first striker, and one of the uncommons of which was a Femeref Archer. Oh yeah bitches.
- A pair of Holy Hand Grenades of Antioch, cleverly strung on a creeper to form a bolo of Biblical proportions. One... Two... Five! (Three milord!) Three!!
- Several stylin' Tees: Two Transformers, one old-school solid red and one new tarnished-style Autobots logo, a larger Green Lantern, a kickin' Spidey holo, and the piece de resistance, a custom jobber with the Ultimate WoW slayer-player from the South Park episode, with the oh-so gnarly legend, "How can you kill... that which has no life?"
- A bottle of Maker's Mark. Oh yeah bitches... Oh yeah.
- Several excellent additions to my sci-fi library, including a Harry Turtledove, a David Brin, and some others
- Superwife's mom gave me, out of the blue (and thank you ma'am!) a tin of Planter's Honey-Roasted Peanuts, and some silk boxers, both in the same gift-bag. Insert your own joke here. (We did, and it was funny as hell, too.)
- More epic Foghorn swag: another painting from Jojo, and another collector's glass from her sister Susie Q, and a Kleenex cover featuring that storied fowl of Dixie
- Lots and lots o candy, some sugar-free, some not. This included a Tobler's Orange, which, you know, just frickin rocks out loud.
- A toothbrush. See above.
- Swedish Fucking Nuts. If you know what they are, you've nodded sagely and thought to yourself, 'Damn right Swedish Fucking Nuts. They're that fucking good!' The rest of you, well, you know how sometimes you just get sad for no discernable reason? Well, it's because you don't know what Swedish Nuts are, and that makes you sad from time to time. Someday you'll know, and then that won't happen anymore. You'll know exactly why you're sad, because you ate them all, and now you have none left.
- Oh, oh yeah, and an unrated, extended version, WIDESCREEN* edition of the funniest movie of 2007 easily, and quite likely what will end up being the funniest movie of the 21st century, (the first decade of such almost for sure) SUPERBAD.
* For the love of Satan, people, if you're going to spend your hard-earned cash on a movie for me, always always ALWAYS get the widescreen version. I hate missing 40% of a movie because some moron decided to cut the edges off to fit on an NTSC screen. That's just a footer for public interest. I suggest you do that for anyone you buy a movie for, so that eventually, someone somewhere will get the hint and just stop releasing movies in any other format but widescreen, to save me the trouble of requesting it.
In addition to mere swag to bear home and bury, I alos got to spend oodles of quality time with Bunnyman, Superwife, and the Super-Kids, all of whom I can safely say enjoyed the rather lame present I bought them. Seeing the Super-Kids light up when they tore through the wrapping was probably the best part of the morning.
Sunday, December 9, 2007
Slaying Treebeard's Cousin
It was a long and bloody battle, but in the end, Man and Saw defeated Ent (Tree, Root, Leaf, and Branch).
Bunnyman and I were tasked on Saturday with finding, securing, transporting, and setting up the Castle Anthrax Annual Christmas Tree. The first three of those tasks we performed flawlessly and almost entirely without comment with the aid of Local Boy Scout Troop #42. Or should I say, we stood around with hands in pockets while said boy scouts and their scoutmaster did all the hard work, and I finished all that by driving it slowly back to Castle Anthrax, much to the consternation of River City's automobile-equipped.
It was only once we arrived at Castle Anthrax that the trouble began, but oh what trouble it was! Our adversary was a Blue Spruce, measuring well over six feet tall, weighing in at four sextillion tons, and completely armored above and below with razor-sharp thorn-like spikes amusingly misnomered as 'needles'. I wisely donned my $250 Leather Armor and Gauntlets of Yard Work before approaching our foe, which was wise indeed, as it's D&D stats include 15' of reach, 100 attacks for 1d4+2 damage each, a Base Attack Bonus of +14, and the Large and In Charge feat. In WoE stats, that comes out to Att 30 (with the ability to attack up to 100 times with no penalties to attack, defense, or fumble), Defense 54, Initiative 30, Damage 1d4+2, and a Damage Resistance of 240. (Hereafter, stats are given in D&D / WoE format.)
Bunnyman and I, being level 3 Commoners, were clearly in over our heads, as we were armed only with my Tool Bag of Electrical Controls Work / Class II Tinker's Kit, and a Tinfoil Tree Stand -2 of Enfeeblement / Cursed Tinfoil Tree Stand of The Gods Will Laugh at You.
Our foe proceeded to sped the next two hours beating us to a standstill, until finally, beaten and bloody, we retreated to the phone, to call in Superwife as reinforcements. Superwife was on her way back to Castle Anthrax with Super-Dependable Teen anyway, so she arrived, cast her spell of Martha's Transformation / Transform into Martha, and led us back into the fray, now being an impressive level 15 Aristocrat / Master Decorator (level 10 of Magistracy, Intuition, Willpower, and General Competence at Everything). Thus emboldened, Bunnyman and I charged in, renewed in spirit, and confident of victory.
And our foe performed his deadliest trick, Quickened Tree Stand Destruction / essence-powered Tree Stand Destruction. Our Tinfoil Tree Stand -2 of Enfeeblement / Cursed Tinfoil Tree Stand of The Gods Will Laugh at You promptly crumpled under this onslaught, setting even Superwife back on her heels momentarily. And then she bade us go forth on a holy quest for a Saw of Mighty Cutting and a Tree Stand of Puissance.
Daunted and fearful, we rode forth from Castle Anthrax to the Place of Many Shops, and bravely entered the outdoor store there. After reading the signs in the dirt (and maybe one or two hanging from bars near aisle fronts, we were sorta stumped, until Bunnyman espied and accosted a native guide, who pointed us to the objects of our quest, or at least, to the resting places of such things.
Saws were easy to obtain, there being many, and it was fortunate we went there first, for it could have been necessary to lay about us with it to obtain our second quest item, the Tree Stand of Puissance. There was but a single one of these storied relics remaining, and we pounced upon it like a starving man on a sausage inna biscuit.
Triumphantly, we bore our prizes back to Castle Anthrax, and, guided in the ancient rites by Martha/Superwife, we finally slew our foe, and mounted it.
So, you know, there's another tree standing indoors in another house this year. And man was it pissed.
And that is fricking it. I ain't lifting another finger to decorate for the rest of the season, possibly for the remainder of my days.
Bunnyman and I were tasked on Saturday with finding, securing, transporting, and setting up the Castle Anthrax Annual Christmas Tree. The first three of those tasks we performed flawlessly and almost entirely without comment with the aid of Local Boy Scout Troop #42. Or should I say, we stood around with hands in pockets while said boy scouts and their scoutmaster did all the hard work, and I finished all that by driving it slowly back to Castle Anthrax, much to the consternation of River City's automobile-equipped.
It was only once we arrived at Castle Anthrax that the trouble began, but oh what trouble it was! Our adversary was a Blue Spruce, measuring well over six feet tall, weighing in at four sextillion tons, and completely armored above and below with razor-sharp thorn-like spikes amusingly misnomered as 'needles'. I wisely donned my $250 Leather Armor and Gauntlets of Yard Work before approaching our foe, which was wise indeed, as it's D&D stats include 15' of reach, 100 attacks for 1d4+2 damage each, a Base Attack Bonus of +14, and the Large and In Charge feat. In WoE stats, that comes out to Att 30 (with the ability to attack up to 100 times with no penalties to attack, defense, or fumble), Defense 54, Initiative 30, Damage 1d4+2, and a Damage Resistance of 240. (Hereafter, stats are given in D&D / WoE format.)
Bunnyman and I, being level 3 Commoners, were clearly in over our heads, as we were armed only with my Tool Bag of Electrical Controls Work / Class II Tinker's Kit, and a Tinfoil Tree Stand -2 of Enfeeblement / Cursed Tinfoil Tree Stand of The Gods Will Laugh at You.
Our foe proceeded to sped the next two hours beating us to a standstill, until finally, beaten and bloody, we retreated to the phone, to call in Superwife as reinforcements. Superwife was on her way back to Castle Anthrax with Super-Dependable Teen anyway, so she arrived, cast her spell of Martha's Transformation / Transform into Martha, and led us back into the fray, now being an impressive level 15 Aristocrat / Master Decorator (level 10 of Magistracy, Intuition, Willpower, and General Competence at Everything). Thus emboldened, Bunnyman and I charged in, renewed in spirit, and confident of victory.
And our foe performed his deadliest trick, Quickened Tree Stand Destruction / essence-powered Tree Stand Destruction. Our Tinfoil Tree Stand -2 of Enfeeblement / Cursed Tinfoil Tree Stand of The Gods Will Laugh at You promptly crumpled under this onslaught, setting even Superwife back on her heels momentarily. And then she bade us go forth on a holy quest for a Saw of Mighty Cutting and a Tree Stand of Puissance.
Daunted and fearful, we rode forth from Castle Anthrax to the Place of Many Shops, and bravely entered the outdoor store there. After reading the signs in the dirt (and maybe one or two hanging from bars near aisle fronts, we were sorta stumped, until Bunnyman espied and accosted a native guide, who pointed us to the objects of our quest, or at least, to the resting places of such things.
Saws were easy to obtain, there being many, and it was fortunate we went there first, for it could have been necessary to lay about us with it to obtain our second quest item, the Tree Stand of Puissance. There was but a single one of these storied relics remaining, and we pounced upon it like a starving man on a sausage inna biscuit.
Triumphantly, we bore our prizes back to Castle Anthrax, and, guided in the ancient rites by Martha/Superwife, we finally slew our foe, and mounted it.
So, you know, there's another tree standing indoors in another house this year. And man was it pissed.
And that is fricking it. I ain't lifting another finger to decorate for the rest of the season, possibly for the remainder of my days.
Sunday, December 2, 2007
Oh, the weather outside's delightful...
In Kentucky, November is a fine month for working outdoors. Not a whole lot going on any differently (other than the early parts of my weekdays starting earlier...) eh, here's a proper breakdown...
0600 The alarm goes off. Whistling cheerfully, I shut it off, hop spryly and eagerly out of bed, and perform my morning ablutions.
0645 Check to make sure my keys are in pocket or hand, and depart Casa Mio for work. That involves turning left out of my driveway, turning left at the end of the block, and going straight for about a mile, hitting an on-ramp, the going straight for 6 miles, hitting an off-ramp, going straight for a mile, and turning left into the parking lot. About 10-20 minutes, depending on traffic.
0715 With coffee in hand, I pile my gear (ok, put my little black toolbag and my lunchbag in the back of my partner's truck cab) into the truck, and we begin an hour-long drive to northern mid-Kentucky. Along the way, we chat (both of us are fundamentalist Christians, so there's a lot of choir-preaching, and thus far we've managed to avoid coming to blows over the minute details of our differences in beliefs), drink coffee, and listen to bluegrass on satellite 62, or maybe 65, I fergit which.
0800-0830 (depending on jobsite and traffic) We arrive at work, already having planned where to go first to do what.
5 minutes later: We discover that the contractors have bottlenecked us again, either by failing to perform something important we absolutely needed done, or by half-assing it so it doesn't help us at all. I repeat the old soldier's adage: "No plan of battle ever survives first contact with the enemy." We shrug and get to work.
Several hours later: In spite of Murphy's best efforts, we've gotten some significant amount of work done, and more of our commitment to this job has been fulfilled to contract specifications. We pile into the truck, and return to HQ, where I transfer to my auto.
40 minutes later: Home again, or maybe I braved I64 only long enough to face the dread nightmare that is the Watterson Expressway on-ramp to get to Castle Anthrax.
~10:30: Bedtime for bozo.
0600 The alarm goes off. Whistling cheerfully, I shut it off, hop spryly and eagerly out of bed, and perform my morning ablutions.
0645 Check to make sure my keys are in pocket or hand, and depart Casa Mio for work. That involves turning left out of my driveway, turning left at the end of the block, and going straight for about a mile, hitting an on-ramp, the going straight for 6 miles, hitting an off-ramp, going straight for a mile, and turning left into the parking lot. About 10-20 minutes, depending on traffic.
0715 With coffee in hand, I pile my gear (ok, put my little black toolbag and my lunchbag in the back of my partner's truck cab) into the truck, and we begin an hour-long drive to northern mid-Kentucky. Along the way, we chat (both of us are fundamentalist Christians, so there's a lot of choir-preaching, and thus far we've managed to avoid coming to blows over the minute details of our differences in beliefs), drink coffee, and listen to bluegrass on satellite 62, or maybe 65, I fergit which.
0800-0830 (depending on jobsite and traffic) We arrive at work, already having planned where to go first to do what.
5 minutes later: We discover that the contractors have bottlenecked us again, either by failing to perform something important we absolutely needed done, or by half-assing it so it doesn't help us at all. I repeat the old soldier's adage: "No plan of battle ever survives first contact with the enemy." We shrug and get to work.
Several hours later: In spite of Murphy's best efforts, we've gotten some significant amount of work done, and more of our commitment to this job has been fulfilled to contract specifications. We pile into the truck, and return to HQ, where I transfer to my auto.
40 minutes later: Home again, or maybe I braved I64 only long enough to face the dread nightmare that is the Watterson Expressway on-ramp to get to Castle Anthrax.
~10:30: Bedtime for bozo.
Monday, November 19, 2007
Thursday, November 8, 2007
A healthy shade of Azure...
So, I got a call from the 'fish' I mentioned in the last post. You know, that nibble that turned into a sho-nuff bite?
Yeah, that fish is now alongside the boat, and the net is ready. And it's a significant raise from my job up north.
In a state with a lower cost of livng.
I just totally broke the poverty line!!
I'm Lower Middle Class!!
It's a dream come true!!
Yeah, that fish is now alongside the boat, and the net is ready. And it's a significant raise from my job up north.
In a state with a lower cost of livng.
I just totally broke the poverty line!!
I'm Lower Middle Class!!
It's a dream come true!!
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