Recent purchases have at least caught me up to recent releases. I now have the new Trek movie, the theatrical Watchmen (but I'd really like the Director's cut), Ironman, and of course, Zombieland.
Stuff I'd love to see roll up in the future... (and it still shocks me that I don't own these yet)
Indiana Jones trilogy (TRILOGY. There is no fourth IJ movie. Don't tell me there is, la la la la la, I can't hear you.)
the Back to the Future trilogy
Evolution, fun and funny.
The Christian Bale Batman movies, even though the Michael Keaton ones were WAY better, these were pretty darn good. (I have the MK ones.)
Ghostbusters III, er, I mean The Frighteners.
The original Nightmare on Elm Street series of movies. Teen slashers at their very finest.
Speaking of series, any seasons of The Simpsons, Family Guy, Robot Chicken, the Sci-Fi Battlestar Galactica run, The Flash, Sliders, X-files, or G-Force: Battle of the Planets (nostalgia).
The Hulk (the Ed Norton one, don't try telling me there's another, la la la la la, I can't hear you)
I'm sure there's more, but it's late and I am tired.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Ok, stop messing up MY joke...
I made the mistake of putting my joke about 4 nuns online at some point in the past, and it has been retold (poorly, oh so very poorly) a few trillion times, and is pathetic.
Here is the original, funny, joke:
Four nuns are returning home from a charity event when their Volkswagen is crushed by a semi truck. They find themselves in Heaven, standing in the express lane off to the side (12 sins or less). This line is run by St. Timothy as Pete continues to hog the action at the main gate.
St. Timothy smiles at the sisters (imagine his voice in the rich Irish brogue I deliver this in verbally) and addresses them as a group:
"Ah, suren begorrah, tis a sad day indeed to greet four sisters of the cloth, all so young. I shall ask but one question of ye lasses." He addresses the first nun: "Sister, have you ever touched a man's penis?"
The nun blushes shyly and nods.
Timothy gently asks, "With what did ye touch it?"
The nun holds up her right hand, pauses, then raises her left.
Timothy shrugs slightly, and says, "Wash your hands in the font of holy water and enter the kingdom of Heaven. He turns to the second nun.
"Sister, same question. Have ye ever?"
She sighs and nods affirmatively.
"With what?" he asks in reply.
She motions to her rather full bosom.
Timothy lifts an eyebrow, gives a small shrug and rolls his eyes. "Bath your chest in the holy water and enter the kingdom of Heaven."
Now, while Timothy has been addressing the second sister, the third and fourth nuns have been holding a whispered argument. The third nun apparently loses, and they switch places.
Timothy, naturally curious about such an action, addresses his next question to the formerly fourth, and now third sister in line: "Why have ye taken your sister's rightful place in line?"
"There's no WAY I'm gargling that shit after she-" she jerks a thumb at the now fourth nun- "sits in it!"
In the future, I would appreciate that anyone telling this joke please not fuck it up. Also, yes, you HAVE to do Timothy's accent.
Here is the original, funny, joke:
Four nuns are returning home from a charity event when their Volkswagen is crushed by a semi truck. They find themselves in Heaven, standing in the express lane off to the side (12 sins or less). This line is run by St. Timothy as Pete continues to hog the action at the main gate.
St. Timothy smiles at the sisters (imagine his voice in the rich Irish brogue I deliver this in verbally) and addresses them as a group:
"Ah, suren begorrah, tis a sad day indeed to greet four sisters of the cloth, all so young. I shall ask but one question of ye lasses." He addresses the first nun: "Sister, have you ever touched a man's penis?"
The nun blushes shyly and nods.
Timothy gently asks, "With what did ye touch it?"
The nun holds up her right hand, pauses, then raises her left.
Timothy shrugs slightly, and says, "Wash your hands in the font of holy water and enter the kingdom of Heaven. He turns to the second nun.
"Sister, same question. Have ye ever?"
She sighs and nods affirmatively.
"With what?" he asks in reply.
She motions to her rather full bosom.
Timothy lifts an eyebrow, gives a small shrug and rolls his eyes. "Bath your chest in the holy water and enter the kingdom of Heaven."
Now, while Timothy has been addressing the second sister, the third and fourth nuns have been holding a whispered argument. The third nun apparently loses, and they switch places.
Timothy, naturally curious about such an action, addresses his next question to the formerly fourth, and now third sister in line: "Why have ye taken your sister's rightful place in line?"
"There's no WAY I'm gargling that shit after she-" she jerks a thumb at the now fourth nun- "sits in it!"
In the future, I would appreciate that anyone telling this joke please not fuck it up. Also, yes, you HAVE to do Timothy's accent.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
One Sweet Friggin' Suite...
So, here I am in the Windy City, gettin' mah lern on fo' the company.
And I ain't exactly stayin' at the Motel 6...
It's the Wyndham.
Dude, it's friggin' suite.
And I ain't exactly stayin' at the Motel 6...
It's the Wyndham.
Dude, it's friggin' suite.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Yay!! Free toy inside!!
Ok all you Magic: the gathering lovers out there, fire up a new browser tab, and go to http://www.magicseteditor.sourceforge.net/, and download joy.
It's EVER so much fun!!!
Friday, March 21, 2008
'Cause It's America, Fuck Yeah!!
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1031254/faq#.2.1.1
Less reading this drivel, more clicking the link!!
Oh friggin' yeah!! Lost Boys has a sequel!! W00tage Triumphant!!
R rated, lots of C-list hotties wearing less than the MPAA will allow, heavy metal soundtrack, and Coreys Feldman and Haim, which is exactly what a teen slasher vampire flick should be packed to the gunwales with.
The Frogg Brothers are Back, bloodsuckers beware!!!
Less reading this drivel, more clicking the link!!
Oh friggin' yeah!! Lost Boys has a sequel!! W00tage Triumphant!!
R rated, lots of C-list hotties wearing less than the MPAA will allow, heavy metal soundtrack, and Coreys Feldman and Haim, which is exactly what a teen slasher vampire flick should be packed to the gunwales with.
The Frogg Brothers are Back, bloodsuckers beware!!!
Monday, January 21, 2008
I'm Looking Over, a Field of Clover...
So, Super-Dependable Teen and I took in Cloverfield yesterday. And I want desperately to blog about it, but not to spoil it for anyone else, so I'm going to blog it, and I'm going to make sure there is nothing I'd consider a 'spoiler' when I'm done. So, here goes...
First off, as you'd know form the previews, teasers, and trailers, it's a monster movie. Secondly, and as noted firstly, it's shot 'Blair Witch' style, IE, 'real' people film the movie 'accidentally' on their minicam. A disclaimer: I've never seen Blair Witch. The concept held, and continues to hold, absolutely no interest for me whatsoever. I don't believe in ghosts, even less in witches, and could care less about a movie about a ghost of a witch that was filmed for less than $30k. Bunnyman's alluded movie about baloney vampires shot in a laundry hamper by 8-year-olds sounds positively enthralling beside it. So, other than knowing from the trailers that it was shot in similar fashion, there are no other comparisons to it that I can or would want to make.
Let me just say up front that yes, there are several plot holes, of such depth and breadth that Super-Dependable Teen and I saw fit to point them out and comment on them to each other, and that they served well to let me once again confidently say that Hollywood still knows shit-all about science-fiction as a genre, and this depresses me to no end.
But in spite of those problems, I think the movie was well-done for a monster movie, extremely well-done for a BW-style cinematography, and definitely worthy of seeing in theatre. It has good special effects that will suffer badly on the small screen, so see it as large as you can.
We both found ourselves wincing and urging the lead characters to safety as peril after peril imperiled them time and again. To me that means they kept the action moving almost fast enough to gloss over the plot holes, but the tires still dipped, and the lurch when they hit the far rim of the hole remianed a jarring impact each time. I shall now decide whether or not said holes constitute spoilers if discussed... ... ...
Plot Holes One and Two (not in order with other plot holes):
OK, in vaguest possible terms: one of the characters is impaled through the chest (and from the angle, almost certainly through the upper lobe of their left lung) on a piece of exposed re-rod* (eh, industry term, it's the metal bars they put inside concrete to strengthen it, a reinforcement rod, aka re-rod). Said character is 'rescued' by lifting them off the re-rod (which would of course cause all sorts of internal damage, unplug the hole from original impact, and kill them rapidly) and not only is no worse for wear from the ordeal, but is in fact seen sprinting away from danger in the next scene. I uneasily muttered 'adrenalin?', and tried hard not to think about it any more, but... arrrgh, I hate Hollywood. Do some sci-fi right you bastards!!
* Editor's Note: I am assured by Superwife and Bunnyman that re-rod is in fact known as no such thing, and is actually called rebar. Shrug. I've heard it called re-rod, but also heard rebar. Maybe both are valid, maybe not. So, anyway, impaled by rebar, running around fine a minute later.
Plot Hole Three:
I don't know what brand of camera was being used, but I want one. They're absolutely indestructible. And have a battery that never fails, even when you run the light. And the tapes run a good 90 minutes or more. Yeah, I'll take two in fact, don't even wrap 'em. I can't tell you what sorts of things this camera went through unscathed, but believe me, short of its own stasis field, I can't see how it remained functional.
Plot Holes Four and Five:
This one is dangerously close to a spoiler. Be warned. I'm going to change the color to match the background, so select this area to read it, just in case. This way, if it is a spoiler, it's your own fault for reading it.
One of the characters is bitten/slashed/gouged savagely by a lesser monster. This character does not go into shock, despite some impressive blood loss. The lesser monster and its buddies, whom the army has been hard-pressed to deal with with M-16 A1s and M-60s, are rather handily beaten off and back and away by four humans usings fists, feet, and a steel pipe.
Ok, that's about all. So, as usual, badly flawed, but, if you can shut down your higher analytical functions for 90 minutes, an altogether creepy romp.
Oh, and when you think the story is over, and you're just watching what didn't get taped over by the interesting parts, keep watching anyway. Especially the right side of the screen, far off in the background.
First off, as you'd know form the previews, teasers, and trailers, it's a monster movie. Secondly, and as noted firstly, it's shot 'Blair Witch' style, IE, 'real' people film the movie 'accidentally' on their minicam. A disclaimer: I've never seen Blair Witch. The concept held, and continues to hold, absolutely no interest for me whatsoever. I don't believe in ghosts, even less in witches, and could care less about a movie about a ghost of a witch that was filmed for less than $30k. Bunnyman's alluded movie about baloney vampires shot in a laundry hamper by 8-year-olds sounds positively enthralling beside it. So, other than knowing from the trailers that it was shot in similar fashion, there are no other comparisons to it that I can or would want to make.
Let me just say up front that yes, there are several plot holes, of such depth and breadth that Super-Dependable Teen and I saw fit to point them out and comment on them to each other, and that they served well to let me once again confidently say that Hollywood still knows shit-all about science-fiction as a genre, and this depresses me to no end.
But in spite of those problems, I think the movie was well-done for a monster movie, extremely well-done for a BW-style cinematography, and definitely worthy of seeing in theatre. It has good special effects that will suffer badly on the small screen, so see it as large as you can.
We both found ourselves wincing and urging the lead characters to safety as peril after peril imperiled them time and again. To me that means they kept the action moving almost fast enough to gloss over the plot holes, but the tires still dipped, and the lurch when they hit the far rim of the hole remianed a jarring impact each time. I shall now decide whether or not said holes constitute spoilers if discussed... ... ...
Plot Holes One and Two (not in order with other plot holes):
OK, in vaguest possible terms: one of the characters is impaled through the chest (and from the angle, almost certainly through the upper lobe of their left lung) on a piece of exposed re-rod* (eh, industry term, it's the metal bars they put inside concrete to strengthen it, a reinforcement rod, aka re-rod). Said character is 'rescued' by lifting them off the re-rod (which would of course cause all sorts of internal damage, unplug the hole from original impact, and kill them rapidly) and not only is no worse for wear from the ordeal, but is in fact seen sprinting away from danger in the next scene. I uneasily muttered 'adrenalin?', and tried hard not to think about it any more, but... arrrgh, I hate Hollywood. Do some sci-fi right you bastards!!
* Editor's Note: I am assured by Superwife and Bunnyman that re-rod is in fact known as no such thing, and is actually called rebar. Shrug. I've heard it called re-rod, but also heard rebar. Maybe both are valid, maybe not. So, anyway, impaled by rebar, running around fine a minute later.
Plot Hole Three:
I don't know what brand of camera was being used, but I want one. They're absolutely indestructible. And have a battery that never fails, even when you run the light. And the tapes run a good 90 minutes or more. Yeah, I'll take two in fact, don't even wrap 'em. I can't tell you what sorts of things this camera went through unscathed, but believe me, short of its own stasis field, I can't see how it remained functional.
Plot Holes Four and Five:
This one is dangerously close to a spoiler. Be warned. I'm going to change the color to match the background, so select this area to read it, just in case. This way, if it is a spoiler, it's your own fault for reading it.
One of the characters is bitten/slashed/gouged savagely by a lesser monster. This character does not go into shock, despite some impressive blood loss. The lesser monster and its buddies, whom the army has been hard-pressed to deal with with M-16 A1s and M-60s, are rather handily beaten off and back and away by four humans usings fists, feet, and a steel pipe.
Ok, that's about all. So, as usual, badly flawed, but, if you can shut down your higher analytical functions for 90 minutes, an altogether creepy romp.
Oh, and when you think the story is over, and you're just watching what didn't get taped over by the interesting parts, keep watching anyway. Especially the right side of the screen, far off in the background.
Saturday, January 12, 2008
On the Road Again
Hopefully, this is the last time for a long time.
Once again, two guys with a truck showed up at my place, loaded almost all of my heavy-ass shit (scratch that, they loaded ALL of my heavy-ass shit, all I did was some of the lighter stuff) into said truck, and carted it to my new address. 2.2 miles away. Their bosses charged me $300 for the service (which is deductible), and I tipped those gentlemen $20 each, and gave one of them my old entertainment center, as the laws of physics decreed that it could not, save by exertions of the Uncertainty Principle, be made to occupy my new home. A trip to Walmart yielded the last one in the store, which waits in my trunk for me to summon the strength to hoist it out and into my apartment. I even got a bargain on it, maybe.
Did I mention that I moved from one third-floor apartment to another third-floor apartment? And after swearing I'd never do it again. Eh, shows what my word is worth. Bunnyman and Superwife, and the older two Superkids have been helpful also. In fact it was Superwife who recommended my movers, and they showed up on time, did the job on schedule, and basically rocked in hearts and spades. Thanks again, Superwife.
Later--
Ok, was beaten savagely away from the Castle Anthrax mainframe in the middle of typing this by Bunnyman, but he's on the Wii now, so I'm safe.
We just got back from the Come Back Inn, an Italian eatery with a decidedly unexpected name. The Pasta Gorgonzola was, dare I say it (Oh dare, dare!!), magnifico. I'd never had it before, and wasn't sure what to expect, beyond gorgonzola likely being a 'strong cheese, given a name like that'. Fortuitously, I likes the strong cheese. Basically, it's Chicken Alfredo, but Alfredo met the gaze of Medusa, and turned to stone. And that's likely because there were no broccoli bushes for poor Al to hide behind. And that's good eatin'! Bunnyman had a roast beast sammich on ciabatta bread, which he requested special, and which turned out, apparently, to be a mistake, because he thought the ciabatta sucked. Superwife got a more traditional dish, meatballs and marinara, and it smelled divine, and I already knew the marinara was good from the breadsticks we had earlier. So we got that going for us, which is nice.
Anyhow, I got one (count them) trip left up my new stairs tonight, and I'm making it count. Several strapped satchels shall be strapped to my strapping form, and bootstrapped up the stairs so I can strap myself into the intrawebs at some point tomorrow.
But I ain't looking forward to that trip.
Once again, two guys with a truck showed up at my place, loaded almost all of my heavy-ass shit (scratch that, they loaded ALL of my heavy-ass shit, all I did was some of the lighter stuff) into said truck, and carted it to my new address. 2.2 miles away. Their bosses charged me $300 for the service (which is deductible), and I tipped those gentlemen $20 each, and gave one of them my old entertainment center, as the laws of physics decreed that it could not, save by exertions of the Uncertainty Principle, be made to occupy my new home. A trip to Walmart yielded the last one in the store, which waits in my trunk for me to summon the strength to hoist it out and into my apartment. I even got a bargain on it, maybe.
Did I mention that I moved from one third-floor apartment to another third-floor apartment? And after swearing I'd never do it again. Eh, shows what my word is worth. Bunnyman and Superwife, and the older two Superkids have been helpful also. In fact it was Superwife who recommended my movers, and they showed up on time, did the job on schedule, and basically rocked in hearts and spades. Thanks again, Superwife.
Later--
Ok, was beaten savagely away from the Castle Anthrax mainframe in the middle of typing this by Bunnyman, but he's on the Wii now, so I'm safe.
We just got back from the Come Back Inn, an Italian eatery with a decidedly unexpected name. The Pasta Gorgonzola was, dare I say it (Oh dare, dare!!), magnifico. I'd never had it before, and wasn't sure what to expect, beyond gorgonzola likely being a 'strong cheese, given a name like that'. Fortuitously, I likes the strong cheese. Basically, it's Chicken Alfredo, but Alfredo met the gaze of Medusa, and turned to stone. And that's likely because there were no broccoli bushes for poor Al to hide behind. And that's good eatin'! Bunnyman had a roast beast sammich on ciabatta bread, which he requested special, and which turned out, apparently, to be a mistake, because he thought the ciabatta sucked. Superwife got a more traditional dish, meatballs and marinara, and it smelled divine, and I already knew the marinara was good from the breadsticks we had earlier. So we got that going for us, which is nice.
Anyhow, I got one (count them) trip left up my new stairs tonight, and I'm making it count. Several strapped satchels shall be strapped to my strapping form, and bootstrapped up the stairs so I can strap myself into the intrawebs at some point tomorrow.
But I ain't looking forward to that trip.
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