Swag! Booty!! Avast, ye scurvy scalywags, go get yer own!!

Yarrrr!! Twas a proper chest o' dubloons I staggered home under the burden of!! Well, dubloons well-spent at any rate, on the likes of some fine booty indeed. A list o' sweet swag follows:

• A World of Warcraft Raid calendar
• A 'Best of' Stray Cats CD
• A Tenth Edition booster of magic, the gold from which was Mirri, green 2/3 forestwalking legendary vigilant first striker, and one of the uncommons of which was a Femeref Archer. Oh yeah bitches.
• A pair of Holy Hand Grenades of Antioch, cleverly strung on a creeper to form a bolo of Biblical proportions. One... Two... Five! (Three milord!) Three!!
• Several stylin' Tees: Two Transformers, one old-school solid red and one new tarnished-style Autobots logo, a larger Green Lantern, a kickin' Spidey holo, and the piece de resistance, a custom jobber with the Ultimate WoW slayer-player from the South Park episode, with the oh-so gnarly legend, "How can you kill... that which has no life?"
• A bottle of Maker's Mark. Oh yeah bitches... Oh yeah.
• Several excellent additions to my sci-fi library, including a Harry Turtledove, a David Brin, and some others
• Superwife's mom gave me, out of the blue (and thank you ma'am!) a tin of Planter's Honey-Roasted Peanuts, and some silk boxers, both in the same gift-bag. Insert your own joke here. (We did, and it was funny as hell, too.)
• More epic Foghorn swag: another painting from Jojo, and another collector's glass from her sister Susie Q, and a Kleenex cover featuring that storied fowl of Dixie
• Lots and lots o candy, some sugar-free, some not. This included a Tobler's Orange, which, you know, just frickin rocks out loud.
• A toothbrush. See above.
• Swedish Fucking Nuts. If you know what they are, you've nodded sagely and thought to yourself, 'Damn right Swedish Fucking Nuts. They're that fucking good!' The rest of you, well, you know how sometimes you just get sad for no discernable reason? Well, it's because you don't know what Swedish Nuts are, and that makes you sad from time to time. Someday you'll know, and then that won't happen anymore. You'll know exactly why you're sad, because you ate them all, and now you have none left.
• Oh, oh yeah, and an unrated, extended version, WIDESCREEN* edition of the funniest movie of 2007 easily, and quite likely what will end up being the funniest movie of the 21st century, (the first decade of such almost for sure) SUPERBAD.

* For the love of Satan, people, if you're going to spend your hard-earned cash on a movie for me, always always ALWAYS get the widescreen version. I hate missing 40% of a movie because some moron decided to cut the edges off to fit on an NTSC screen. That's just a footer for public interest. I suggest you do that for anyone you buy a movie for, so that eventually, someone somewhere will get the hint and just stop releasing movies in any other format but widescreen, to save me the trouble of requesting it.

In addition to mere swag to bear home and bury, I alos got to spend oodles of quality time with Bunnyman, Superwife, and the Super-Kids, all of whom I can safely say enjoyed the rather lame present I bought them. Seeing the Super-Kids light up when they tore through the wrapping was probably the best part of the morning.

Slaying Treebeard's Cousin

It was a long and bloody battle, but in the end, Man and Saw defeated Ent (Tree, Root, Leaf, and Branch).

Bunnyman and I were tasked on Saturday with finding, securing, transporting, and setting up the Castle Anthrax Annual Christmas Tree. The first three of those tasks we performed flawlessly and almost entirely without comment with the aid of Local Boy Scout Troop #42. Or should I say, we stood around with hands in pockets while said boy scouts and their scoutmaster did all the hard work, and I finished all that by driving it slowly back to Castle Anthrax, much to the consternation of River City's automobile-equipped.

It was only once we arrived at Castle Anthrax that the trouble began, but oh what trouble it was! Our adversary was a Blue Spruce, measuring well over six feet tall, weighing in at four sextillion tons, and completely armored above and below with razor-sharp thorn-like spikes amusingly misnomered as 'needles'. I wisely donned my $250 Leather Armor and Gauntlets of Yard Work before approaching our foe, which was wise indeed, as it's D&D stats include 15' of reach, 100 attacks for 1d4+2 damage each, a Base Attack Bonus of +14, and the Large and In Charge feat. In WoE stats, that comes out to Att 30 (with the ability to attack up to 100 times with no penalties to attack, defense, or fumble), Defense 54, Initiative 30, Damage 1d4+2, and a Damage Resistance of 240. (Hereafter, stats are given in D&D / WoE format.)

Bunnyman and I, being level 3 Commoners, were clearly in over our heads, as we were armed only with my Tool Bag of Electrical Controls Work / Class II Tinker's Kit, and a Tinfoil Tree Stand -2 of Enfeeblement / Cursed Tinfoil Tree Stand of The Gods Will Laugh at You.

Our foe proceeded to sped the next two hours beating us to a standstill, until finally, beaten and bloody, we retreated to the phone, to call in Superwife as reinforcements. Superwife was on her way back to Castle Anthrax with Super-Dependable Teen anyway, so she arrived, cast her spell of Martha's Transformation / Transform into Martha, and led us back into the fray, now being an impressive level 15 Aristocrat / Master Decorator (level 10 of Magistracy, Intuition, Willpower, and General Competence at Everything). Thus emboldened, Bunnyman and I charged in, renewed in spirit, and confident of victory.

And our foe performed his deadliest trick, Quickened Tree Stand Destruction / essence-powered Tree Stand Destruction. Our Tinfoil Tree Stand -2 of Enfeeblement / Cursed Tinfoil Tree Stand of The Gods Will Laugh at You promptly crumpled under this onslaught, setting even Superwife back on her heels momentarily. And then she bade us go forth on a holy quest for a Saw of Mighty Cutting and a Tree Stand of Puissance.

Daunted and fearful, we rode forth from Castle Anthrax to the Place of Many Shops, and bravely entered the outdoor store there. After reading the signs in the dirt (and maybe one or two hanging from bars near aisle fronts, we were sorta stumped, until Bunnyman espied and accosted a native guide, who pointed us to the objects of our quest, or at least, to the resting places of such things.

Saws were easy to obtain, there being many, and it was fortunate we went there first, for it could have been necessary to lay about us with it to obtain our second quest item, the Tree Stand of Puissance. There was but a single one of these storied relics remaining, and we pounced upon it like a starving man on a sausage inna biscuit.

Triumphantly, we bore our prizes back to Castle Anthrax, and, guided in the ancient rites by Martha/Superwife, we finally slew our foe, and mounted it.

So, you know, there's another tree standing indoors in another house this year. And man was it pissed.

And that is fricking it. I ain't lifting another finger to decorate for the rest of the season, possibly for the remainder of my days.

Oh, the weather outside's delightful...

In Kentucky, November is a fine month for working outdoors. Not a whole lot going on any differently (other than the early parts of my weekdays starting earlier...) eh, here's a proper breakdown...

0600 The alarm goes off. Whistling cheerfully, I shut it off, hop spryly and eagerly out of bed, and perform my morning ablutions.

0645 Check to make sure my keys are in pocket or hand, and depart Casa Mio for work. That involves turning left out of my driveway, turning left at the end of the block, and going straight for about a mile, hitting an on-ramp, the going straight for 6 miles, hitting an off-ramp, going straight for a mile, and turning left into the parking lot. About 10-20 minutes, depending on traffic.

0715 With coffee in hand, I pile my gear (ok, put my little black toolbag and my lunchbag in the back of my partner's truck cab) into the truck, and we begin an hour-long drive to northern mid-Kentucky. Along the way, we chat (both of us are fundamentalist Christians, so there's a lot of choir-preaching, and thus far we've managed to avoid coming to blows over the minute details of our differences in beliefs), drink coffee, and listen to bluegrass on satellite 62, or maybe 65, I fergit which.

0800-0830 (depending on jobsite and traffic) We arrive at work, already having planned where to go first to do what.

5 minutes later: We discover that the contractors have bottlenecked us again, either by failing to perform something important we absolutely needed done, or by half-assing it so it doesn't help us at all. I repeat the old soldier's adage: "No plan of battle ever survives first contact with the enemy." We shrug and get to work.

Several hours later: In spite of Murphy's best efforts, we've gotten some significant amount of work done, and more of our commitment to this job has been fulfilled to contract specifications. We pile into the truck, and return to HQ, where I transfer to my auto.

40 minutes later: Home again, or maybe I braved I64 only long enough to face the dread nightmare that is the Watterson Expressway on-ramp to get to Castle Anthrax.

~10:30: Bedtime for bozo.

Mmmm, mmm, good!

That is one tasty fish!

Gotta go. I need to get up early for work y'all.

A healthy shade of Azure...

So, I got a call from the 'fish' I mentioned in the last post. You know, that nibble that turned into a sho-nuff bite?

Yeah, that fish is now alongside the boat, and the net is ready. And it's a significant raise from my job up north.

In a state with a lower cost of livng.

I just totally broke the poverty line!!

I'm Lower Middle Class!!

It's a dream come true!!

Casting the Bones

Not just a cool black enchant, it's also an ancient method of divining the future. And there's a light at the end of my jobless tunnel.

And no, in point of fact it does NOT appear to be an oncoming train, but is in fact the lantern held aloft by the kindly brakeman who spotted me stuck on the rail in one of the tunnel cameras, and is walking down to assist me, having warned via radio the oncoming freight train to slow to 30mph, which will give him ample time to free me and for us to be on our way since it is some miles distant yet, thank you very much you pessimistic person you.

Damn I can draft a run-on sentence like there's no tomorrow... That's a real skill you know.

Yeah, I've been availing myself of Superwife's extensive network of connections in the Kentuckiana HVAC, building, contracting, and conrols industries locally, canvassing for jobs, and had hit a sort of calm backwater, drifitng listlessly, when all of a sudden, I got the above-mentioned nibble. Which, as it turns out, is a sho-nuff bite, and it's actually swimming parallel to and in the same direction as the boat I'm fishing from. So I got that going for me, which is nice.

Heh, speaking of availing myself of Superwife's anything, I just got done availing myself of some more of the fantastic vegetable beef soup she sent home with me... Sunday?, I think. Dang that is some gooooooooooood soup!! It's like, V8 for vegetable stock, and chopped up chunks of what seems almost to be steak, and all sorts of wonderful veggies, including cauliflower (which was a new but by no means an unwelcome addition to soup for me) and of course celery, without which soup can only dwell in darkness and despair. She served it with grilled cheese, but I ate mine with a ham and cheese, which was ok. Yeah, I should prolly mention the grilled cheese sandwiches, or at least, the things that pass for grilled cheese down here.

Ok, so, you start with your basic white bread. Now, most normal folks'll butter it, toss a slice of cheese in there, butter the outside, and toss it on the griddle. Contemptible fools! Superwife's grilled cheese sandwiches spit on you! She put mayo on the inside, which spreads the heat better, making for an evener melt, and LOADS cheese into the middle. Then she tosses the outside-buttered sammidges onto a buttered griddle, and joy ensues.

I am so dying of heart disease at or before 50, and I say bully for me.


In other odds strangenesses and news tidbits, I found a bottle of unopened champaigne, with real Frenchie words on it and its foil seal intact, lying in the grass outside my apartment building Sunday morning. Not wanting kids to get it and get in trouble, I put it in my trunk in a safe spot, and wound up giving it to Teh Hawt Gal in the Tallest Tower of Castle Anthrax, ie the rather splendid lady living upstairs from Superwife and Bunnyman (whom some may know as Doctor Alfonse 'Doc' Nebula). She was rather pleased with the serendipitous champaigne that fate had gifted her. Has goodwill for me accrued? Who can say? I think she'd be a great friend to hang out with, but I'm not sure we're couples material. I'm keeping my options open.

See, it's because I are a g-knee-us

Heh, Day... lessee, carry the three... Thirty-One, of the Age of Aquarius.

And the friggin' air conditioning is on the fritz, AGAIN. Thankfully, today was a blissfully cool and low-humidity day of a somewhat chilly 85dF. It's down to a barely sub-arctic 70 or so now. But I think it's time to close the bathroom window and fire up the window unit I installed last week or so.

You, dear readers, may be wondering what's been occupying my time lo these thirty-odd days. Well, mainly, I've been hanging out at Bunnyman and Superwife's place, getting schooled by the Superkids at everything from Magic: The Gathering to the finer points of watching Skanks of Love, (Some MTV unreality show about various hos vying to be the latest ho George Michaels drills-- no, really, that's really what it's about.).

Which reminds me of that Drug-Free America commercial, where the two stoners are hanging out smoking dope in an upstairs room, and you hear the one guy's mom yell up from below: "Did you even look for a job today?"

No. No I fricking well did not. My rent is paid up through the end of Octogre, I got plenty of dough in the bank for now, and cost of living is way lower here. The various promising leads I had to check out just didn't pan out. And that's ok. I'm working without a net, for once in my life, and yeah, it's a little scary, but it's also kinda cool. And I really enjoy setting my own hours. This, this is a very, very, VERY well-earned vacation as far as I am concerned.

I will find a job. It may not be as good as the one at SU was, and if not, so what? At least I finally took action of my own instead of reacting to what life saw fit to give me.

Now, lest you think life in River City is all doom and gloom, let me tell you how a typical (school) day in the current life goes:

10AM: I condescend to get out of bed. Somedays, this results in an immediate hygeine ritual and dressing. Most days it does not. Over the course of the next hour, I go potty a few times, eat something, check e-mail, and either work on a deck or watch a DVD. I just finished watching the entire D&D Animated Series from the early 80s. That took most of a week.

Noonish: I contemplate what to do next, having finished either a DVD, or my latest deck tunings and constructions. It being noonish, I consider the possibility of lunch, and all its sordid possibilities. Perhaps I cook something, more likely I decide not to heat the place up given how hot it is out. The computer reminds me that I have internets and WoW, and so I fiddle with that for a while.

1:30PM: If I haven't already, it's time enough for hygeine and dressing. That completed, I head over to Castle Anthrax, bringing my decks. There Bunnyman and I test each other in the crucible of mortal combat in various ways.

3PM: Super-Dependable Teen arrives soon after I do on weeks when her bio-dad does not work hard to firmly cement her distaste for his presence in her life in her mind, and joins our contests of skill and strength often as not. She is a doughty warrior teen woman, and often bests me.

4:30-5PM: Bunnyman and I journey to Super-Adorable Kid's school to pick her up, and return her to Castle Anthrax. She regales us on the way home with tales of 7-year-oldness, which pleases us mightily. Often, other minor chores of shoppingstance occur on this sojourn. Upon our return, I boot up the X-Box and load my save of KOTOR1.

~6PM: Superwife returns to Castle Anthrax from her day of soul-crushing tedium, and Bunnyman attends to her.

~7:30PM: The dinner gong is struck, and we rush headlong into the kitchen to fight for scraps of whatever divinely inspired commestibles have been whipped up from the ether by that most puissant kitchen-sage, Superwife. We all, singly and in groups, again deplore her cruel and harsh refusal to bring tears of joy to the eyes of all Kentuckianans by opening a resturaunt. Truly, truly, yea verily I say unto thee, hast thou not partaken of the sublime gustatorial delights and gastronomical perfections that flow from Superwife's kitchen like proverbial manna from Heaven itself, thou cans't not possibly ken the depths of thy privance and suffering.

8PM: Belching contentedly, the inhabitants of Castle Anthrax and their guests (occasionally Colon or D-Wreck will seek to better themselves by accompanying Super-Dependable Teen or Super-Drama Teen (respectively) and join me on the oh-so-priveliged guest list) entertain themselves in various manners, often taking the form of team Magic games, sometimes other venues offer.

9PM: By now, on school nights, other guests have departed. Super-Adorable Kid is snugged, storied, and sleepified, or at least that process is begun in earnest. The dish-monster churns and gurgles contentedly in the corner, licking the crumbs and gravy-stains off the crockery lucky enough to have been annointed by Superwife's culinary delights that night. Super-Dependable Teen prepares for her own slumber, whilst Super-Drama Teen continues to manage her drama online via various chat agencies.

~9:30PM: Deadwood on DVD. Al Swearingen begins to grow on me, and his illness brings a swell of sympathy to my heart. Well, I could go on for some time about the doings in Deadwood, but I won't.

~10:30PM: I take my leave.

11PM: I log onto WoW and seek some West-coast people LFTank to raise my SU guild tank to 70 so he can properly serve with distinction.

3AM: Bedtime for this bozo. Unless I have something better to do.

My New Kentucky Home

My stuff arrived on Tuesday, how about that? Naturally, the day started off in a heavy downpour, which rapidly gave way to thunderstorms. There seems to be a trend building here, where if I'm involved in something that can be adversely affected by rain, it rains. Apparently I am Louisville's new rainmaker.

All Hail the Rain King!!

Fortunately, the guy who was supposed to help the driver of the moving van unload it quit. I say fortunately because it took a couple hours to both find a replacement and unload some stuff for another delivery, and by the time all of that happened, the skies over Louisville had reluctantly given way to a distinct lack of precipitation.

And now much of my stuff is stacked neatly in boxes, much else is set up and being used (like my bed, futon, and fans). I've only unpacked a few dishes, just enough to get by, since I'll be moving again soon.

Oh yay.

Auuuuuggghhhhh!

Good grief!! Thanks to a small mix-up on my lease papers, my cable, phone, and INTERNET won't be hooked up until the TWENTY-FREAKING-EIGHTH!!! Auuuuugggggghhhhhh!!!

But, on the bright side, I won't have the bulk of my things until Wednesday or Thursday anyway, so I guess it isn't that big of a deal, right?

I'm trying not to hyperventilate...

Tomorrow is my interview at Trane. If you're superstitious, wish me luck, burn incense, chant, or whatever floats your particular boat. And thank you for your support.

Holy Crap...

... I'm homeless!
... This trip is taking forever
... These drivers in Ohia suck
... These drivers in Kentucky literally have no idea what a blinking amber light on one side of my car's rear means
... I'm here, and no longer homeless!

... my stuff is gonna get here WHEN!!! Augggghhhhh!!!

... it was a smart move to put my suit in the car.

My God, has it been that long?

So, just shy of 7 years working at Syracuse University, keeping college coeds warm at night, and now I've gone and given notice, this being the last day of employment, and I'm traipsing ~680 miles SW to Louisville, KY, to start fresh.

What am I, crazy?!?

Who can say? Anyhow, it's a done deal. My current landlord is showing the apartment, I've paid my new landlords (at Aquarius Apartments), my utes are getting cancelled on the 17th, and Mayflower is showing up to take my worldly possessions and truck 'em down.

This is the dawning of the Age of Aquarius. So let the sun shine! Wish me luck.